About Me: I once caused an entire natatorium to go vehvee, vehvee quiet. One time, I poked my very prudish girlfriend in the boob(like straight on and dead center). I made an idiot of myself skydiving, yet survived. I got into a brawl over a baseball hat as a teenager.
I just thought we'd get some of the embarrassing stuff out of the way first. If you can deal with that stuff, you can probably deal with me. We'll save the bad stuff for later.
Like to Meet: Yo momma! Wait, no...already did that.
Interests: shooting digitized objects, pretending I can save the world, searching for shrubberies, hard fucking, garnering amusement through the embarrassment and pain of others, finding waldo, pretending I have a social life, taking both the high and low roads at the same time, maintaining my bonsai kitten
Extra info: I hate parades, hypocrisy, and/or properly stretching; but never all three at the same time. A man can only hate so much...