The Onion

The Onion

A United States-based parody newspaper published weekly in print and daily online.
 
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Headline Tag: Automobile Rating: Good Hits: 849 Comments: 5 The Onion: Ford Unveils New Car for Cash-Strapped Buyers The Onion: Ford Unveils New Car for Cash-Strapped Buyers Ford says the '93 Taurus is the only car to drive in 2010, and they think Americans will have no other choice but to agree. User: RabidMadness Nov 6, 2009 11:01 AM
Permanent Tag: The Onion Rating: Amazing Hits: 135 Comments: 0 The Onion: Victim in Fatal Car Accident Tragically Not Glenn Beck The Onion: Victim in Fatal Car Accident Tragically Not Glenn Beck Honors student Rebecca Bunten died in the crash today, leaving the nation to wonder why the grisly experience of burning alive was not reserved for... Nov 3, 2009 8:28 AM
Permanent Tag: Sports Rating: Good Hits: 202 Comments: 1 The Onion: Fatal Staples Center Collapse Brings Merciful Early End ... The Onion: Fatal Staples Center Collapse Brings Merciful Early End ... People are breathing a sigh of relief today for the long-suffering spectators' sudden deaths, and for the total elimination of the Clippers' roster off the face of the earth. User: RabidMadness Oct 30, 2009 8:58 AM
Headline Tag: Halloween Rating: Good Hits: 2119 Comments: 0 The Onion: Finding Masculine Halloween Costumes for Your Effeminate Son The Onion: Finding Masculine Halloween Costumes for Your Effeminate Son Anna Stephenson stops by Today NOW! to show parents of girly sons costume tips to survive Halloween without accentuating their child's already obvious homosexuality. Oct 27, 2009 7:00 PM
Permanent Tag: Politics Rating: Amazing Hits: 69 Comments: 0 The Onion: Gaffe-Prone Biden Embarrasses Nation yet Again by ... The Onion: Gaffe-Prone Biden Embarrasses Nation yet Again by ... In The Know panelists call Biden's decision to sneeze in the middle of a high level policy meeting 'disgusting' and 'completely inappropriate.' User: RabidMadness Oct 22, 2009 4:51 PM
Permanent Tag: The Onion Rating: Good Hits: 61 Comments: 0 The Onion: Bad Boy Fencing Star Implicated in yet Another Jewel Heist The Onion: Bad Boy Fencing Star Implicated in yet Another Jewel Heist Steam Room analysts debate whether the International Fencing Federation should rein in this rogue, or if De La Croix will narrowly escape yet again. User: RabidMadness Oct 21, 2009 8:13 AM
Headline Tag: The Onion Rating: Good Hits: 867 Comments: 0 The Onion: Stalker Financial Expert Offers Recession Tips. The Onion: Stalker Financial Expert Offers Recession Tips. Dan Kellogg visits Today NOW! with money tips for one particular woman who forgot to close her bedroom drapes last night. User: RabidMadness Oct 16, 2009 9:54 AM
Permanent Tag: Barack Obama Rating: Ok Hits: 216 Comments: 0 The Onion: Obama to Enter Diplomatic Talks with Raging Wildfire The Onion: Obama to Enter Diplomatic Talks with Raging Wildfire White House officials are confident the President will be able to convince the wildfire to stop incinerating large swaths of land and American homes. User: RabidMadness Oct 14, 2009 7:12 AM
Headline Tag: Homophobia Rating: Amazing Hits: 1684 Comments: 4 Anti-Smoking Ads: It's Gay To Smoke Anti-Smoking Ads: It's Gay To Smoke The CDC's new anti-smoking campaign effectively reaches teens with a simple message: if you smoke, people are going to know you're totally crazy for butt sex. From The Onion User: SilenTom Oct 6, 2009 3:09 PM
Permanent Tag: Politics Rating: Ok Hits: 185 Comments: 1 The Onion: Poll: Happy, Healthy Obamas out of Touch with Miserable Americans The Onion: Poll: Happy, Healthy Obamas out of Touch with Miserable Americans Panelists discuss whether Obama's openly loving, considerate family is a slap in the face to the average American who only bears feelings of resentment towards relatives. Oct 5, 2009 12:20 AM
Unmoderated Tag: The Onion Rating: Ok Hits: 124 Comments: 0 The Onion: Crime Reporter Links Warehouse Fire to Depraved Sex Act The Onion: Crime Reporter Links Warehouse Fire to Depraved Sex Act On Raw Justice, host Dean Reid investigates the closed case of an 'accidental' fire and finds shocking new evidence of sexually motivated arson User: RabidMadness Sep 29, 2009 11:39 AM
Headline Tag: Weapons Rating: Good Hits: 2010 Comments: 3 The Onion: Little Boy Heroically Shoots, Mutilates Burglar The Onion: Little Boy Heroically Shoots, Mutilates Burglar 8 year old Lucas Armitage has become a national hero after bravely defending his home by shooting a burglar multiple times in the chest and neck. User: RabidMadness Sep 24, 2009 10:22 AM
Unmoderated Tag: The Onion Rating: Amazing Hits: 85 Comments: 0 The Onion: Breaking News: Bat Loose in Congress The Onion: Breaking News: Bat Loose in Congress Congress is deadlocked on the best way to get a bat out of their committee chamber. User: RabidMadness Sep 22, 2009 7:25 AM
Permanent Tag: The Onion Rating: Good Hits: 246 Comments: 0 The Onion: Report: Growing Ranks of Nouveau Poor Facing Discrimination from Old Poor The Onion: Report: Growing Ranks of Nouveau Poor Facing Discrimination from Old Poor As Americans rush to join the Nouveau Poor, panelists debate the claim that the newly poor are incapable of integrating with long established poor... User: RabidMadness Sep 18, 2009 1:18 PM
Permanent Tag: Politics Rating: Amazing Hits: 264 Comments: 3 The Onion: U.S. Condemned for Pre-Emptive Use of Hillary Clinton ... The Onion: U.S. Condemned for Pre-Emptive Use of Hillary Clinton ... Innocent civilians across the impact zone are picking up the pieces after Secretary of State Clinton's tedious visits to their farms, cultural centers. User: Griff Sep 15, 2009 11:43 AM
 
Tags: Michelle Obama, Glenn Beck, Onion News Network, The Onion, Joe Biden, Halloween, Basketball, PSA, Human Children, Weapons, Homophobia, Hillary Clinton, Sports, Automobile, Barack Obama, Politics, Video Clips
 
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