Stairway to Kevin

There's a country that knows that Howard's on the nose

So they're climbing a Stairway to Kevin

We'll all back this new twerp

With the smug nerdy smirk

Who needs Facebook and MySpace to find friends

He'll win you hearts with tacky t-shirts -- join the team now

It's ALP USA style

He'll distance himself from the unions - he don't like boys' clubs

He only likes clubs with strippers

When he gets drunk from rum and gin

He can't recall a single thing

And though he speaks some Mandarin

He's much more fluent speaking spin

He's got no economic plan

But he can dance with Kerri-Anne

And fake the dawn in Vietnam

And more spoilt than Mark Latham

But he's more faith than Gough Whitlam

And we're climbing a Stairway to Ke-vin