The Short With No Name (2012)
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Starring
Chuck Starzenski (http://coveryoureyesentertainment.blogspot.com)
Lighting by
Sam Euston (http://www.sameuston.com)
Mario Morquecho (www.youtube.com/user/mayin333)
Score by
Luc Londe
Sam Euston
Voices
Erika Smallen (http://www.erikasmallen.com)
Cloud Footage by
Evan and Rachel (http://evanandrachel.com)
Concept, Written, Filmed, Edited, Special Effects, Foley&Sound;
Luc Londe (http://www.omnable.com)
Project Parameters:
The Challenge
Using a video camera, design and shoot the following scripted scenario:
A person is about to open a door. The person hears a sound and becomes mildly concerned. The person finds the door locked and searches for his or her keys. The person hears the sound again and becomes visibly apprehensive. As the filmmaker, your goal is to build tension and growing panic, using any visual element or device that you can think of. The film closes with the person finally opening the door and getting to the other side safely. Here, you want to communicate to the audience the character's feeling of relief and safety.
Parameters/Limitations
Neither the character nor the audience ever sees the source of the sound.
The film can have only one actor.
The film may not contain dialogue
The film may not exceed 90 seconds.
The entire film must take place within a single location.
Assignment for Mike Traina's Media 10 class at Santa Rosa Junior College.
Inspired by The Dark Tower, which was in turn inspired by Sergio Leone's Spaghetti Westerns.
Chuck Starzenski (http://coveryoureyesentertainment.blogspot.com)
Lighting by
Sam Euston (http://www.sameuston.com)
Mario Morquecho (www.youtube.com/user/mayin333)
Score by
Luc Londe
Sam Euston
Voices
Erika Smallen (http://www.erikasmallen.com)
Cloud Footage by
Evan and Rachel (http://evanandrachel.com)
Concept, Written, Filmed, Edited, Special Effects, Foley&Sound;
Luc Londe (http://www.omnable.com)
Project Parameters:
The Challenge
Using a video camera, design and shoot the following scripted scenario:
A person is about to open a door. The person hears a sound and becomes mildly concerned. The person finds the door locked and searches for his or her keys. The person hears the sound again and becomes visibly apprehensive. As the filmmaker, your goal is to build tension and growing panic, using any visual element or device that you can think of. The film closes with the person finally opening the door and getting to the other side safely. Here, you want to communicate to the audience the character's feeling of relief and safety.
Parameters/Limitations
Neither the character nor the audience ever sees the source of the sound.
The film can have only one actor.
The film may not contain dialogue
The film may not exceed 90 seconds.
The entire film must take place within a single location.
Assignment for Mike Traina's Media 10 class at Santa Rosa Junior College.
Inspired by The Dark Tower, which was in turn inspired by Sergio Leone's Spaghetti Westerns.
Dec 25, 2012 9:28 PM
Re: The Short With No Name (2012)
OK, Luc, on a technical level, this is really nice work, so I'll give this 4*s to get it into the Latest Links list on the front page. I'm not sure how kind others will be to the story, but I guess we'll see.
Here's the critique:
I like the opening credits fire effect. Shitty, last-minute credits can be a poor start to a short. Yours raised my expectations, for better or for worse.
Cinematography was very good. I liked the colors and only had minor complains about some of the framing (i.e. head bouncing against the top of the frame as the character walked toward the screen on the beach.)
End credits animation was also very nice. You've wrapped the work all purdy-like.
The sound and music were great, and probably my favorite part of this short. Nice job on those.
The story was really the weakest part. I almost always watch shorts first without reading the description to see if they can stand without additional support from the program notes. That, and I hate spoilers.
I see now that this was an assignment, and now that I know what you're going for, I'm not sure that you've accomplished the tension/relief that was asked. I like the idea and extra points to you for not doing the obvious dropping keys horror story cliche, but I never really felt any tension - his gunblazing finger gestures felt more comedic than anything. I did like the techniques you used (stutter camera, slow-mo, out-of-focus) - you certainly did you best to disorient the viewer, but without a compelling reason to be afraid for the character or a driving need for the character to exit the scene, it just didn't work.
The "relief and safety" once he went through the door didn't really come across either, as his demeanor didn't quite fit expectations of someone who just crossed some sort of interdimensional, alternate universe threshold through a cloud of ghost sperm. He looked almost matter-of-fact about the experience, not relieved of earlier tension.
So, in the end, you score high on style points and technical ability, but your storytelling needs a bit more polish. I hope you take that as a compliment, because I think you have the raw materials for some really nice work.
Good luck to you.
Here's the critique:
I like the opening credits fire effect. Shitty, last-minute credits can be a poor start to a short. Yours raised my expectations, for better or for worse.
Cinematography was very good. I liked the colors and only had minor complains about some of the framing (i.e. head bouncing against the top of the frame as the character walked toward the screen on the beach.)
End credits animation was also very nice. You've wrapped the work all purdy-like.
The sound and music were great, and probably my favorite part of this short. Nice job on those.
The story was really the weakest part. I almost always watch shorts first without reading the description to see if they can stand without additional support from the program notes. That, and I hate spoilers.
I see now that this was an assignment, and now that I know what you're going for, I'm not sure that you've accomplished the tension/relief that was asked. I like the idea and extra points to you for not doing the obvious dropping keys horror story cliche, but I never really felt any tension - his gunblazing finger gestures felt more comedic than anything. I did like the techniques you used (stutter camera, slow-mo, out-of-focus) - you certainly did you best to disorient the viewer, but without a compelling reason to be afraid for the character or a driving need for the character to exit the scene, it just didn't work.
The "relief and safety" once he went through the door didn't really come across either, as his demeanor didn't quite fit expectations of someone who just crossed some sort of interdimensional, alternate universe threshold through a cloud of ghost sperm. He looked almost matter-of-fact about the experience, not relieved of earlier tension.
So, in the end, you score high on style points and technical ability, but your storytelling needs a bit more polish. I hope you take that as a compliment, because I think you have the raw materials for some really nice work.
Good luck to you.
Re: The Short With No Name (2012)
Thanks for your dedicated critique, kooolcat. Much appreciated. If you had read the Dark Tower books, you wouldn't need any story to be fed to you, and every image and sound would scream with its symbolism. I don't expect people unfamiliar with the actual story to get anything past the effects and pretty pictures. My greatest concern was skirting past any possible copyright infringements of the original story, since the Stephen King estate and Universal (who, I understand, have optioned the story but have failed to begin production) would crush my nuts into oblivion if I chose to include any bit of the "story."
Cheers, bud. Thanks again!
Cheers, bud. Thanks again!
By: luclonde
Re: The Short With No Name (2012)
Ah, that makes sense. Yeah, I haven't read the series. I got turned off of Stephen King at an early age by "It" and "Tommyknockers." My wife tells me I should give him another go. Perhaps I will.
Anyway, I hope you found some of what I said helpful. Looking forward to the next one. Unless, of course, it's about the pervasive bottle cap symbolism in "Rose Madder." ;)
Anyway, I hope you found some of what I said helpful. Looking forward to the next one. Unless, of course, it's about the pervasive bottle cap symbolism in "Rose Madder." ;)
Re: The Short With No Name (2012)
Ewwww.... Booger wiggling around in his nose at 1:13.
Maybe you can title it, The Snot With No Name.
Maybe you can title it, The Snot With No Name.
By: BattleShip_Ron
Re: The Short With No Name (2012)
Bawitdaba da bang a dang diggy diggy diggy said the boogie said up jump the boogie.
Re: The Short With No Name (2012)
He actually couldn't produce any real boogers that day. We had to order some express from a guy who knows a guy that dated this girl I know from another guy I met at the zoo. I wanted realism, gross realism. No cost was too high.
By: luclonde
