Dan Savage: Why Monogamy is Ridiculous
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The idea that one instance of infidelity should ruin a relationship is a new and misguided notion.
We need to talk about monogamy the way we talk about sobriety, which you can be monogamous and fall off the wagon and then sober back up. You can monogamous back up and get back on the wagon. And the truth of the matter is that if you’re with somebody for 40, 50 years and they only cheated on you a few times they were good at being monogamous, not bad at being monogamous. They were good at it.
We need to talk about monogamy the way we talk about sobriety, which you can be monogamous and fall off the wagon and then sober back up. You can monogamous back up and get back on the wagon. And the truth of the matter is that if you’re with somebody for 40, 50 years and they only cheated on you a few times they were good at being monogamous, not bad at being monogamous. They were good at it.
Jan 9, 2012 10:00 AM
Re: Dan Savage: Why Monogamy is Ridiculous
I don't necessarily agree with Savage's idear here -- or at least, don't think it worth the attempt to navigate the difficult waters. But regardless, citing his being gay is boring and -- with the exception of the energy spent trying to start some goofy argument -- lazy lazy lazy.
By: Cvillian
Re: Dan Savage: Why Monogamy is Ridiculous
Well, I am trolling.
But to be a little less lazy about it- how wonderfully convenient that a gay man thinks monogamy is ridiculous. And that a Christian would think evolution is ridiculous. And that a racist thinks that equal rights is ridiculous.
The point is of course we're against the opposite of our lifestyle. But arguing against monogamy? Who does that? That's just gay.
But to be a little less lazy about it- how wonderfully convenient that a gay man thinks monogamy is ridiculous. And that a Christian would think evolution is ridiculous. And that a racist thinks that equal rights is ridiculous.
The point is of course we're against the opposite of our lifestyle. But arguing against monogamy? Who does that? That's just gay.
By: NoBiggie
Re: Dan Savage: Why Monogamy is Ridiculous
The YouTube poster came up with that title. Savage didn't said monogamy is ridiculous. He said it's really difficult. He said if you pursue a monogamous lifestyle, keep your expectations grounded in reality.
I say the principle reason a gay guy might be more likely to question monogamy is because a gay guy is more likely to question sexual norms in general. And an advice columnist with a couple of decades of experience in the field of sex and relationships? Yeah. A gay guy.
>"how wonderfully convenient that a gay man thinks monogamy is ridiculous"
Gay or otherwise, man or otherwise, monogamy is indeed inconvenient among humans. That's why it's culturally enforced.
I say the principle reason a gay guy might be more likely to question monogamy is because a gay guy is more likely to question sexual norms in general. And an advice columnist with a couple of decades of experience in the field of sex and relationships? Yeah. A gay guy.
>"how wonderfully convenient that a gay man thinks monogamy is ridiculous"
Gay or otherwise, man or otherwise, monogamy is indeed inconvenient among humans. That's why it's culturally enforced.
Re: Dan Savage: Why Monogamy is Ridiculous
Bottom line; if Louis CK, a guy who was married 10 years and has two kids makes a case against monogamy I'll listen. But some guy who has no interest in monogamy by default steps up to the pulpit, he can go fuck right off.
By: NoBiggie
Re: Dan Savage: Why Monogamy is Ridiculous
I suppose it would concern me that we would open that door. I think it's good that it's a big deal with people cheat on each other, especially for married people. At the same time, I think it would be very noble to forgive someone's transgression.
The problem is this: If I can forgive someone once for cheating on me then I can forgive them twice. If I can forgive them twice then I can forgive them three times. At which point do I say that they don't respect me? It really grays an issue which is fairly black-and-white. I would argue that it's right that it's black-and-white.
The problem is this: If I can forgive someone once for cheating on me then I can forgive them twice. If I can forgive them twice then I can forgive them three times. At which point do I say that they don't respect me? It really grays an issue which is fairly black-and-white. I would argue that it's right that it's black-and-white.
By: ozmandium
Re: Dan Savage: Why Monogamy is Ridiculous
Straight guys not into alternative views of sexuality. News at 11.
By: deiviant
Re: Dan Savage: Why Monogamy is Ridiculous
Monogamy helps prevent creating bastard children (for the straight), spreading STDs and causing other difficult situations. Without monogamy the human race would surely devolve or destroy itself.
By: StuBu
