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The Drugs I Need
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Bouncy little song about drug side effects they won't tell you about.
Mar 1, 2005 12:33 PM
Re: The Drugs I Need
Great, my day's wasted humming that song and then explaining to everyone in the office what I am tripping on... anyone got the complete lyrics yet? I mainly want the warning just to hand in our medicine closet...
By: Sideshow_Bob
Re: The Drugs I Need
You’ve got a headache
And I’ve got some strange disease
Don’t worry about it
This pill will set your mind at ease
It’s called Progenitorivox
It’s made by SquabbMerlCo
It’s a life enhancing miracle
But there are some things you should know
It may cause agitation
Palpitations
Excessive salivation
Constipation
Male lactation
Rust colored urination
Hallucinations
Bad vibrations
Mild electric shock sensations
But it’s worth it
For the drugs I need
My disease may not be fatal
But I can ease my fears
By taking two twelve dollar pills
Each day for fifty years
They’ve spent billions to convince me
So now I realize
Progenitorivox
Beats diet and exercise!
I’ve got insurance
At least for now I do
And if I buy generic
It would cut my cost in two
But I want Progenitorivox!
‘cause I saw it on TV
Those families look so functional
That paisley pill’s for me
But it may cause
Depravation
Humiliation
Debtor’s prison and deportation
Dark depictions
Dire predictions
Life as seen in Dickens fiction
Empty pocket
Court dockets
May cause eyes to pop from sockets
But it’s worth it
For the drugs I need
But it’s worth it…
In Canada, they get this for a song!
But it’s worth it
For the drugs I need
And I’ve got some strange disease
Don’t worry about it
This pill will set your mind at ease
It’s called Progenitorivox
It’s made by SquabbMerlCo
It’s a life enhancing miracle
But there are some things you should know
It may cause agitation
Palpitations
Excessive salivation
Constipation
Male lactation
Rust colored urination
Hallucinations
Bad vibrations
Mild electric shock sensations
But it’s worth it
For the drugs I need
My disease may not be fatal
But I can ease my fears
By taking two twelve dollar pills
Each day for fifty years
They’ve spent billions to convince me
So now I realize
Progenitorivox
Beats diet and exercise!
I’ve got insurance
At least for now I do
And if I buy generic
It would cut my cost in two
But I want Progenitorivox!
‘cause I saw it on TV
Those families look so functional
That paisley pill’s for me
But it may cause
Depravation
Humiliation
Debtor’s prison and deportation
Dark depictions
Dire predictions
Life as seen in Dickens fiction
Empty pocket
Court dockets
May cause eyes to pop from sockets
But it’s worth it
For the drugs I need
But it’s worth it…
In Canada, they get this for a song!
But it’s worth it
For the drugs I need
By: BuzzBarber
Re: The Drugs I Need
The opinions expressed in this song are not necessarily those of SquabbMerlCo or its subsidiaries. Progenitorivox is not available, anywhere. Offer void in Wisconsin. Any resemblance to actual drugs, living or dead, is purely coincidental. Any unauthorized use of your judgment in the application of Progenitorivox is strictly prohibited. Progenitorivox may not be reproduced without the expressed written consent of Major League Baseball. Progenitorivox may cause drowsiness or restlessness in lab animals. Do not resume sexual activity while operating heavy machinery without consulting your physician. For erections lasting longer than four hours, insert your own joke here. If you experience psychotic episodes, you’re crazy. If death occurs, discontinue use of Progenitorivox immediately. If symptoms persist, consult your physician. All sales final. Batteries not included.
By: BuzzBarber
Re: The Drugs I Need
I'm very happy this link made it - it's one of my biggest pet peeves that people go to school for over a decade to learn how to diagnose someone.. for nothing. Any jackass watching t.v. can diagnose himself now... "do you go to sleep at night, and wake up in the morning?" --- "Omg, I do, I'm dying, I need ___!"
Re: The Drugs I Need
Funny. Reminds me of the acne pill I saw that could cause heart attacks. "Sad he's dead, but at least those zits are gone!"
By: NemoSaysMeow
Re: The Drugs I Need
I hate drug companies, theres plenty of things that could be cured , but instead of cures they just make your symptoms go away while the problem still exists, so you need to keep running back to them for more drugs.
Re: The Drugs I Need
Foxworthy has a good story about just that subject, the side-effects being worse than the thing you're trying to get rid of, funny stuff.
By: fudrom
Re: The Drugs I Need
Oh really? Like migraines, arthritis, irregular heart beats, just to name a few. Without medication, my mother would not be alive today, just like most people. Let's see how long your life is going to last without them.
By: dipvac01
Re: The Drugs I Need
Jeebus. Lighten up a little. Nobody's saying modern medicine's bad or that they want anyone's mom to die. It's just kinda funny when the side effects are: "You may experience gas with oily discharge, increased bowel movements, an urgent need to have them, and an inability to control them." - quote from the Xenical commercial
By: SwanShawn
Re: The Drugs I Need
Chill, he's only talking about the BS shit like RLS, and anti-depressants. (I know som1 will give me shit for putting up anti depressants, but it really doesn't fix why your depressed, it just makes it temporarly impossible to be depressed. (Are you sad? take Ritalin!))
By: cheezsteak
Re: The Drugs I Need
Completely true. We are like the little guinia (sp?) pigs of modern medicine. They always want to sell us more and more drugs just so they can get money. THE GOVERNMENT IS ALL TO DAMN MESSED UP. But still, that animation was REALLY funny.
By: SublimeLBC
Re: The Drugs I Need
You can get cheaper prescription drugs out of Canada... Oh but wait, those are bad for you!
Re: The Drugs I Need
isn't it also free medicare in canada? (thats what i heard)
By: nickmeister2006
Re: The Drugs I Need
Yeah most people spell it that way because it's how you're supposed to spell it.
How would you spell it?
How would you spell it?
By: Kaston
