I'm a great looking guy. 30 years ago. I could certainly grow some sideburns!
Monday, June 16, 2008
Andy Kaufman Self-Portrait
I'm a great looking guy. 30 years ago. I could certainly grow some sideburns!
Thursday, June 12, 2008
Tuesday, June 10, 2008
Andy Kaufman's Headstone
Ha! They think I'm dead. Look at my grave. They even bought a headstone. Idiots.
Monday, June 09, 2008
Remember When Jerry Lawler Slapped Me on Letterman
Golly. That Jerry Lawler was an asshole. He didn't have to slap me.
Thursday, June 05, 2008
Thursday, May 20, 2004
Bigger than Jesus
It's not easy being bigger than Jesus right now. I'm actually getting death threats from a few of the non-believers. Don't worry, I forgive you.
If I ever mysteriously stop posting anymore, it's either because one of them got to me, or I'm just too busy on my national Starbucks and Wal-Mart tour.
Hopefully I'll get to make my first public television appearance before I would have to go into hiding or permanent touring of the country again.
If I ever mysteriously stop posting anymore, it's either because one of them got to me, or I'm just too busy on my national Starbucks and Wal-Mart tour.
Hopefully I'll get to make my first public television appearance before I would have to go into hiding or permanent touring of the country again.
For All the Non-Believers
DC said...
Why does anyone care if it's really him or not? What's the point of all the nasty names?
Zmuda and Lynne took out full-page ads to remind Andy of the date, and his promise to them, right? Everything they've done in the past 20 years, everything that Andy did in the 35 years before that, what was the point of it all? What was the point of Andy Kaufman's life?
Have fun.
So maybe this isn't really him. Maybe it is. But either way, I'm still smiling.
He's having fun. And because he's having fun, I am too. I wish that you could all, for just one second, let yourselves have fun with this.
Because somewhere in this world or the next, Andy Kaufman is laughing his ass off.
DC - the non-believers are what make this country great. They accept the spoon fed liberal mass media line all the way to the bank. People wonder why I'm doing this on a blog instead of just appearing on SNL or Dateline or something. Maybe the mainstream isn't ready for me to be back yet. Maybe I don't want to be back in the Hollywood limelight, whoring myself out for some guy in a dark suit at a nameless mega-corporation.
This may not be it for some of you, but one day you will wake up and see something that you never thought was possible. The world wasn't flat like you thought it was, or you figured out the earth is not in fact the center of the universe and rotates itself about the sun, or that wearing sunscreen really is a good idea.
On that day you'll thank Andy Kaufman. Until then, I'll be seeing you at Starbucks, Wal-Mart, and various truck stops throughout the country on my national tour.
Why does anyone care if it's really him or not? What's the point of all the nasty names?
Zmuda and Lynne took out full-page ads to remind Andy of the date, and his promise to them, right? Everything they've done in the past 20 years, everything that Andy did in the 35 years before that, what was the point of it all? What was the point of Andy Kaufman's life?
Have fun.
So maybe this isn't really him. Maybe it is. But either way, I'm still smiling.
He's having fun. And because he's having fun, I am too. I wish that you could all, for just one second, let yourselves have fun with this.
Because somewhere in this world or the next, Andy Kaufman is laughing his ass off.
DC - the non-believers are what make this country great. They accept the spoon fed liberal mass media line all the way to the bank. People wonder why I'm doing this on a blog instead of just appearing on SNL or Dateline or something. Maybe the mainstream isn't ready for me to be back yet. Maybe I don't want to be back in the Hollywood limelight, whoring myself out for some guy in a dark suit at a nameless mega-corporation.
This may not be it for some of you, but one day you will wake up and see something that you never thought was possible. The world wasn't flat like you thought it was, or you figured out the earth is not in fact the center of the universe and rotates itself about the sun, or that wearing sunscreen really is a good idea.
On that day you'll thank Andy Kaufman. Until then, I'll be seeing you at Starbucks, Wal-Mart, and various truck stops throughout the country on my national tour.
Announcing Andy Kaufman's National Starbucks and Wal-Mart Tour
My friends keep telling me, "Andy - why don't you go on Letterman, man? Or Barbara Walters? Let everyone know you're back."
What I did broke the trust of a lot of people in this country, not to mention many close friends and family members. I will never again be able to gain back that trust. Not even after public appearances or even DNA testing. Some will always have their doubts. I don't care about those people anymore.
I care about my fans, the ones who understood my rare form of comedy meets performance art spectacle. That's why I'm going to give back to you guys only, and tour the country appearing unexpectedly at local Starbucks and Wal-Marts.
I've been working on a lot of new characters these last twenty years, which I may be disguised as:
- aging comedy legend who still thinks everyone recognizes him
- hippie turned yuppie guy in suit, now with bad coke habit
- aging fat and bald guy who thinks he is god's gift to women
- black turtleneck wearing pseudo-intellectual anti-war nerd-chic guy
- and more.
The tour begins TODAY! Be sure to tell your friends and alert the local media when you spot me!
What I did broke the trust of a lot of people in this country, not to mention many close friends and family members. I will never again be able to gain back that trust. Not even after public appearances or even DNA testing. Some will always have their doubts. I don't care about those people anymore.
I care about my fans, the ones who understood my rare form of comedy meets performance art spectacle. That's why I'm going to give back to you guys only, and tour the country appearing unexpectedly at local Starbucks and Wal-Marts.
I've been working on a lot of new characters these last twenty years, which I may be disguised as:
- aging comedy legend who still thinks everyone recognizes him
- hippie turned yuppie guy in suit, now with bad coke habit
- aging fat and bald guy who thinks he is god's gift to women
- black turtleneck wearing pseudo-intellectual anti-war nerd-chic guy
- and more.
The tour begins TODAY! Be sure to tell your friends and alert the local media when you spot me!
Getting Heat from LAPD Investigators
I got a call today from some investigators at the LAPD who said they wanted to "ask me a few questions" about my disappearance 20 years ago.
I told them about the statute of limitations (7 years) on faking ones death, but they persisted and said they have "other ways of getting to me."
Should I be worried?
This may mean I'll have to go back into hiding sooner than I had thought.
I told them about the statute of limitations (7 years) on faking ones death, but they persisted and said they have "other ways of getting to me."
Should I be worried?
This may mean I'll have to go back into hiding sooner than I had thought.
Commenter Hits Nail Right on the Head
Mister Gone said: Might be Andy. Might be Bob. Might be someone else entirely. If you're not on for the ride, then the joke's on you.
This is Andy, but I know some of you won't be believers and that's fine. You're missing out on being "in" on one of the biggest stunts ever pulled -- me returning after faking my death for 20 years, just like I promised!
This is Andy, but I know some of you won't be believers and that's fine. You're missing out on being "in" on one of the biggest stunts ever pulled -- me returning after faking my death for 20 years, just like I promised!
Wednesday, May 19, 2004
First Public Appearance Photos
A special thanks to the wonderful Bunny Ranch ladies! Here I am in the Tony Clifton character:
Ernst & Young Disclaimer
I don't know how the press release people got the name Ernst & Young, but that's not the auditor we used to do the DNA testing. They are much too reputable to get involved in this kind of sordid task, much akin to parenthood testing.
Also, it wasn't ABC News that interviewed me. It was some British entertainment mag -- apparently I'm huge over there.
Also, it wasn't ABC News that interviewed me. It was some British entertainment mag -- apparently I'm huge over there.
Mainstream Media Slowly Accepts my Return
Andy Kaufman Returns After 20 Years
Andy Kaufman faked his own death 20 years ago and has returned, alive and well. DNA tests prove that this is indeed the real Kaufman and not another hoax. Some fans are outraged, others are just glad to know the legendary comic is alive.
New York City, NY (PRWEB) May 19, 2004 -- Twenty years ago, on May 16, 1984, most of the world believed that we had lost a comedic legend forever. This has turned out to be what will inevitably be known as the greatest comic prank ever conceived. Andy Kaufman, by all accounts, is alive and well at age 55 and is now living in New York City on the upper west side. To his loyal supporters and fans, Andy says "sorry about faking my death," in a recent interview with ABC News at his apartment. In order to reach legendary comic status and seal his place in the history of performance art, he said it was "necessary to go away for twenty years."
Andy Kaufman’s official site has been launched at:
http://andykaufmanreturns.blogspot.com/
Even though he has technically returned, Andy says that he plans to maintain his low key lifestyle that he has led for the past twenty years. He has resumed contact with friends and family. Fearing the possibility of this scenario and the potential for another hoax, Kaufman’s family has contracted with independent auditors Ernst & Young to determine if this in fact the real Andy Kaufman. He has subjected himself to medical examination and submitted DNA, hair, blood and fingerprint samples to the auditors. Ernst & Young and the Kaufman family report that with a 99% probability, this is indeed the real Andy Kaufman. His mother says, "It’s good to have Andy back."
In 1999, a new crop of Kaufman fans were born after Jim Carrey starred in the hit film Man on the Moon. "Andy’s bizarre mix of comedy and performance art will inspire fans and comedians alike for generations, especially after this stunt," says Jim Carrey.
Andy says he will make only occasional public appearances, sometimes in disguise so that you won’t know if it’s really him or someone else. Kaufman was famous for pulling this stunt with the Tony Clifton character, sometimes played by good friend Bob Zmuda.
Andy says fans should tune into his website for ongoing updates to his adventures in life. As always, Andy’s stage has been the world, testing the boundaries of our beliefs, our sources of information, and our perception of reality. "It’s good to be back," Andy writes on his website.
Andy Kaufman faked his own death 20 years ago and has returned, alive and well. DNA tests prove that this is indeed the real Kaufman and not another hoax. Some fans are outraged, others are just glad to know the legendary comic is alive.
New York City, NY (PRWEB) May 19, 2004 -- Twenty years ago, on May 16, 1984, most of the world believed that we had lost a comedic legend forever. This has turned out to be what will inevitably be known as the greatest comic prank ever conceived. Andy Kaufman, by all accounts, is alive and well at age 55 and is now living in New York City on the upper west side. To his loyal supporters and fans, Andy says "sorry about faking my death," in a recent interview with ABC News at his apartment. In order to reach legendary comic status and seal his place in the history of performance art, he said it was "necessary to go away for twenty years."
Andy Kaufman’s official site has been launched at:
http://andykaufmanreturns.blogspot.com/
Even though he has technically returned, Andy says that he plans to maintain his low key lifestyle that he has led for the past twenty years. He has resumed contact with friends and family. Fearing the possibility of this scenario and the potential for another hoax, Kaufman’s family has contracted with independent auditors Ernst & Young to determine if this in fact the real Andy Kaufman. He has subjected himself to medical examination and submitted DNA, hair, blood and fingerprint samples to the auditors. Ernst & Young and the Kaufman family report that with a 99% probability, this is indeed the real Andy Kaufman. His mother says, "It’s good to have Andy back."
In 1999, a new crop of Kaufman fans were born after Jim Carrey starred in the hit film Man on the Moon. "Andy’s bizarre mix of comedy and performance art will inspire fans and comedians alike for generations, especially after this stunt," says Jim Carrey.
Andy says he will make only occasional public appearances, sometimes in disguise so that you won’t know if it’s really him or someone else. Kaufman was famous for pulling this stunt with the Tony Clifton character, sometimes played by good friend Bob Zmuda.
Andy says fans should tune into his website for ongoing updates to his adventures in life. As always, Andy’s stage has been the world, testing the boundaries of our beliefs, our sources of information, and our perception of reality. "It’s good to be back," Andy writes on his website.
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