I think Adam keeps his gloves on the whole time. (Thus precluding any oil body oil from the mix.)

Sarah Palin could start to collect 2012 money if she only would do something with all those moose turds she follows while hunting.

Hmmm ... it looks like I gave the impression moose turds can walk. Whatever.

Sarah: "This one is fresh, Todd. Look at it, willya? I'm feelin' it between my fingers, also. See, Todd? Here, take the baby."

Todd: "Duhhuh. Me not see moose turd."

Sarah: "You're standin' in it, silly. Here, hold her."

Todd: *Sniffs the freezing Alaskan air like a Nazgûl*

Sarah: "It's near and nigh, Todd. Keep yer hand over the baby's mouth, now."

Todd: "Huhhuh, 'kay."

Sarah: "Feel the ground shaking, Todd? Oh, Todd, it's a big one also. Come to think of it, it may be one of them dinos. Our witch doctor always puts a bowl of milk out for them at night. They always slurp it up. You betcha."

Baby: *Chokes, gurgles, chokes some more*

Sarah: "You darned oaf! I told you the baby's mouth. Not her nose also."

Todd: "Sorry, honeybunch." (A Pulp Fiction reference can't hurt. Maybe gets me noticed by Tarantino.)

Baby: "Waaaaaa! Waaaaaaa! WAAAAAAAA!!!"

*BOOM BOOM BOOM*

Sarah: "Oh, Todd, I'm losin' it. Feel the ground movin' now. I shoulda brought my elephant gun instead of this puny .308 Winchester."

Up ahead, giant spruces are flung every which way and a loud boom shakes the ground like it's D-Day all over again, with Allied Cruisers pounding the Normandy Coast and the Nazis crouching in their bunkers relentlessly.

Sarah: "Throw the baby, Todd! Leave her as a distraction. Run! Get to da choppa!"

Todd: "'Kay."

Baby: "WAAAAAA!!! WAAAAAA!!! WAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!"

Well, you could "roll your own" as they say. It'd make for great stocking stuffers.

"Here you go, dad. I made it myself."