This women is way too much.

Pssssst ... Kucinich ... your wife is worth trillions. Why not do some speculating with her and save the world? You could use the fractional reserve hocus pocus, as long as you do not cut her up into pieces. You just pretend, okay? Don't worry; the whole system is geared toward that sort of thinking.

Now, start with her right foot, which is worth a trillion (gives you maybe a fuzzy feeling of how certain other parts are worth). Sell it to China, and soon enough the Chinese will sell it to the Japanese, Mongols, South Koreans (pray it won't be North Korea), India, you name it. Her left foot goes for slightly less, on account of an ingrown toenail on her big toe. You know what, sell the big toe to Cuba; they know what to do with it. Make the most if it. Pretty soon, the snowball effect will be overwhelming, and the world is saved -- provided that the investment remains alive and well. Now, and here's where I enter the scene: for a measly fee of one dollar (just formalities, like shipping and stuff like that), I'll guarantee to take good care of her. Please, do not forget to drill some holes in the box. You know, for air.