Two $400 haircuts for the cheating husband? Why, the guy must be lazy if he doesn't even take the time to shave his own balls. And he calls himself the poor man's hero ... but, forget it; Edwards is old hat.

Palin, then. She's still sort of hot news, isn't she? Well, that woman sure takes the crown when it comes to fucking things up. Of course, I understand she needed some new clothes. I mean, she can't just show up in a bear skin or something, or can she? But thousands and thousands of dollars? Who pays for that stuff, anyway? The American taxpayer? No, don't answer me; it was a rhetorical question.